Traditionally speaking I was supposed to write this letter latest yesterday.. but preferably the day before D-day. I’m sorry I was late. Somehow my heart and my brain feels conflicted. I understand why too, I mean in one year I went from having nothing to having it all and some part of me simply can’t adjust to that.
23 years old me went through a lot. She started the year at the very bottom.
Let’s reflect on this shall we:
The day after I turned 23 I got operated. I handed complete control to a team of strangers that were going to fix me. The surgery was sucessfull.. or so a thought. Due to health issues a couple of weeks laters.. I missed my exam, this meant that I was forced into the X-klass. My finatial situation was bad. Really.. really bad. My friend circle was bad. Really… really bad. And i was in the middle of freeing myself from Ebola, the man I thought I was going to be with for the rest of my life, but turns out was the serpent venom I needed an antidote from. His story… his story is one that I need to address to on it’s own post, but for now just know.. it was hard. Still to this day.. everything with him is hard.
Things started to turn around when I applied for my first credit card. 50k right there to help me out in times of needs and all of a sudden, money became less of a burden for me to carry.
But my habits where still bad. I was buying food outside all the time and all the drinking and parying didnt make things easier. I needed to clean my habbits. This happened when I walked away from one of my closest friend. lets call her Bloom. Bloom was a really good friend, and to this day I am so greateful to her, because without her I wouldn’t of made it through all the things that has happened.. but she can also be a little toxic and I was already suffering because of Ebola.
Cleaning up my habits and changing my ways of focus was the best thing I could of done. I started cooking more. I started working out more and before I knew I did the best thing I could of ever done for my heart.. I booked a solo-trip to Tallinn Estonia.
Tallinn was amazing. You truly don’t know what you are capable of doing before you take a solo trip somewhere. Tallinn put things into perspective for me. It cleared all the mess in my head and to be honest… it gave me confidence. Confidence to be alone. Confidence to conquere my fears. I have realised that I am a very fearful person. Somehow I always assume something is going to go wrong. True bravery is knowing that the possibility of something going wrong could happen and still doing it anyways. I had a million worries there. Specially since I didn’t speak the language.. couldn’t understand my surroundings and despite all of that I still went out and I walked. I walked for a hundred years. I explored. I nurtured my curriosity and my heart. The girl that came back home to Norway wasn’t the same the one that left. I became someone else. Travelling does that to you sometimes.
From that point on my life had good moments and bad moments, but things where for once – not all bad. which brings me to today. The now. The present.
Dear 25 years old me, you already learned how brave you are. You know your strength and you certainly bleed your weakness out. It’s time for you to sharpen your skills.
TAKE SIX SOLO TRIPS
Princess.. nurture your soul. There is so much of the world to see. So many people to meet, be open minded. Go and get your heart broken somewhere you don’t know. Go fall and scrap your knees, then get up and do the walk. Do this at least every two month. My love.. you are young. Go live a little.
STUDY YOUR HEART OUT
Your dream is to become an expert in drugs. You want to be able to look at a drug and know exactly whats wrong with the person. Hell, you want to be so good at it that you are able to tell that the doc made a mistake. You my love are smart. Get studying. Study as if all this information is your oxygen. Don’t study to pass the test. Study because you will be the only thing in between life and death for a patient someday. Study because you can make a difference.
BE MORE CLEAN AND ORGANIZED
Shave. Not because someone will touch you but because you touch yourself and you like it better this was. Take time to groom yourself. Do your nails.. do your lashes. You are beautiful, treat yourself as such. Get that perfum you love and wear it. Wear it so much that whenever people smell it they automatically will remember your presense.
LEARN TO SAVE
For the really bad times. Save your money. For the times someone will need your help. Save some money. For that two story house with that small garden you’ve always wanted save. And if not for all of that, save because you want to go to that five star ressort.
BE COSER TO GOD
Rebuild your relationship with God. Let him be the only man you need. The only love you crave. Let him take the wheel and guide you through life. God is good and mercyfull. Let him shower you with all his glory for you are a gods child.
There you go, dear 25 years old me. Let’s make all of this happen because it’s time to live a little more.. each day.